Where is Jesus?

A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. 

He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?" 

Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in Heaven." 

Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart." 

Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!!!" 

The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. 

He finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this. 

And Little Johnny said, "Well...every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'!"

A Letter To Heaven

A little boy wanted 100 dollars badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the money. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, they decided to send it to the Prime Minister

      

The PM was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a 10 dollar bill. Turnbull thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

      

The little boy was delighted with the money and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord, which read:

Dear Lord, Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Canberra, and as usual, those jerks deducted 90%. Love, Tommy

Make The World Happy

Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Al Gore, and Tipper Gore are flying aboard Air Force 1 on their way to visit the Communists to share their success stories about taxing Americans.

      

Donald: "Why don't I throw this hundred dollar bill out the window and make someone very happy."

      

Hillary: "Well, why don't you throw ten hundred dollar bills out the window and make ten people happy."

      

Al: "Why don't you two jump out the window and make me and Tipper happy."

      

Tipper: "Why don't we all jump out the window and make everybody throughout the United States and world happy."