3 Sons And Gifts For Their Mum

Three sons, Peter, Paul and Patrick became doctors and left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly Mother for her 80th birthday.
Peter said, "I built a big house for our Mother."
Paul said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."
Patrick smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. You remember how Mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well any more. I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took priests and preachers 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it."
At the party, the mother thanks each of her sons indvidually.
"Peter, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."
"Paul, I am too old to travel any more. My eyesight isn't what it used to be. I stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!"
"Dearest Patrick, you have the good sense to know what your Mother likes. The chicken was delicious!"

The Priest And The Faulty Microphone Joke

A priest wanted to improve the mass at his old-fashioned parish. He said, “From next Sunday onwards, when I say “The Lord be with you”, you respond “And with you also.” Rather than the usual “and also with you”.” The big moment arrived the following Sunday. The priest processed to the altar for mass, only to realize that the microphone was faulty. He said loudly, “There is something wrong with this microphone.” And the congregation replied, “AND WITH YOU ALSO!!!”