Jungle Drums

An anthropologist went to study a far-flung tropical island. He found a guide with a canoe to take him upriver to the remote site where he would make his observations. About noon on the second day of travel up the river they began to hear drums. The anthropologist asked his guide, "What are those drums?"

The guide turned to him and said, "Drums okay, but VERY BAD when they stop."

As they traveled the drums grew louder and louder. The anthropologist was nervous, but the guide merely repeated, "Drums okay. Drums not bad. When drums stop, then very bad!"

Then the drums suddenly stopped. Terrified, the anthropologist yelled to the guide: "The drums stopped! What now?"

The guide crouched down, covered his head with his hands and said, "Guitar solo."

Seven Cookies

The teacher asked Mary, "If you had seven cookies and David asked you for three, how many cookies would you have left?"

Mary immediately answered, "Seven!"

The teacher was puzzled and asked "Why seven?"

"You really think I would give David any of my cookies?"

New Speed Limit

The speed limit on the highway running through our small town was changed from 40 to 35 MPH.

Then one afternoon the town mayor was stopped in the coffee shop by a police officer. "Can I speak to you a moment?" he said.

"Sure," the mayor replied. "What can I help you with?"

"We're advising people that the speed limit has been lowered on the highway through town, and we'd appreciate your co-operation."

"No problem," said the mayor. "Do you want me to bring this up at the next council meeting?"

"No," replied the police officer. "We want you to slow down."

Holmes and Watson

Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson are hiking. They hiked all day long and then, having gotten tired, went to sleep in their tent.

Holmes wakes up deep at night, wakes Watson and says, "Watson, do you see the bright stars and do you notice how clear the sky is? What can you deduce from it?"

"Well, this clearly tells us the weather tomorrow is going to be dry and sunny."

"No Watson, it's simplier than that. It just means that somebody has stolen our tent."