Saturday, December 14, 2019

Modern Christmas Crackers

Why was Theresa May sacked as nativity manager?
She couldn’t run a stable government!
Why don’t Southern Rail train guards share advent calendars? They want to open the doors themselves!
What’s the difference between Ryanair and Santa?
Santa flies at least once a year!
Kim Jong Un will play Santa this year in the South’s annual pantomime. He said he fancied a Korea change!
Why did Donald Trump continuously decorate the Christmas tree?
Because people kept saying “moron” to him!
Why was the planned Ryanair TV documentary scrapped? They were unable to air a pilot!
Which TV Christmas special is being filmed in Brussels this year?
Deal Or No Deal!
Theresa May has asked Santa for a home makeover this year. First thing on the list was a new Cabinet!
What did Bruce Forsyth say when the Christmas pheasant repeated on him?
“Good game, good game!"
Why did Jeremy Corbyn ask people not to eat sprouts on Christmas Day? He wants to give peas a chance!
What does Donald Trump do after he pulls a cracker?
Pays her off!
Why has Debenhams been forced to cancel its Christmas nativity play?
No prophet!
Why has Boris Johnson bought mistletoe this year?
Because he’s tired of being in the single market!

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