Good Old Apple Joke

Children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, "take only one, God is watching." Moving through the line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. Little Johnny wrote a note, "take all you want, God is watching the apples."

Bird Jokes

What birds spend all their time on their knees?
Birds of prey.

What do you call a very rude bird?
A mockingbird.

Where do birds meet for coffee?
In a nest-cafe.

What do you call a bunch of chickens playing hide-and-seek?
Fowl play.

What language do birds speak?
Pigeon English.

What do you give a sick bird?
Tweetment.

What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark?
A bird that will talk you ear off.

What happened when the owl lost his voice?
He didn't give a hoot.

What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A great walkie-talkie.

Queen Jokes

Which member of Queen can be found in space?

Lead singer Freddie Mercury!

What is a ghost's favourite Queen song?
Boo-hemian Rhapsody! (Bohemian Rhapsody)

What is a pig's favourite Queen song?

We Are The Hampions! (We Are The Champions)

What is a sheep's favourite Queen song?

Radio Baa Baa! (Radio Ga Ga)

Which Queen song is about stormy weather?

Thunder Pressure! (Under Pressure)

Which Queen songs are best for a prisoner before he goes to jail?

I Want To Break Free and We Will Lock You! (We Will Rock You)