Mick The Joker's Animal Jokes Part 2

Why do hummingbirds hum?
Because they don't know the words.

Where does a blackbird go for a drink?
To a crow bar.

Why was the crow perched on a telephone wire?
He was going to make a long-distance caw.

What did the chick say when it saw an orange in the nest?
Look at the orange mama laid.

Is it good manners to eat fried chicken with your fingers?
No, you should eat your fingers separately.

Why do hens lay eggs?
If they dropped them, they'd break.

Why do seagulls live near the sea?
Because if they lived near the bay, they would be called bagels.

Diner: Do you serve chicken here?
Waiter: Sit down, sir. We serve anyone.

Diner: I can't eat this chicken. Call the manager.
Waiter: It's no use. He can't eat it either.

Which side of a chicken has the most feathers?
The outside.

What do you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A walkie-talkie, of course.

Have you heard of that disease that you get from kissing birds?
Chirpes. It's one of those canarial diseases. I hear it's untweetable.

Why don't they play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.

What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.

Where do dogs go when they lose their tails?
To the retail store.

What kind of dog tells time?
A watch dog.

What animals can jump higher than the Sydney Harbour Bridge?
All the animals can, because the Sydney Harbour Bridge can't jump.

What do you call a duck with fangs?
Count Quackula.