Christmas Jokes Part I

If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
Missletoe!

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.

What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Ribbon hood.

What kind of bird can write?
A PENguin.

What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
hess nuts boasting in an open foyer!

What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
Jungle Bells, Jungle bells...!

Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters ?
They both drop their needles !

What's Christmas called in England ?
Yule Britannia !

What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas ?
Thanks, I'll never part with it !

Why is a burning candle like being thirsty ?
Beacause a little water ends both of them !

What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree ?
A pineapple !

What do you give a train driver for Christmas ?
Platform shoes !

What did the big candle say to the little candle ?
I'm going out tonight !

Whats happens to you at Christmas ?
Yule be happy !

How long does it take to burn a candle down ?
About a wick !