Aunty Nelia's Jokes

This were the favourite jokes of my late aunty Nelia, who passed away on the 14th of September 2008. May she rest in peace...

A young boy was interested on becoming a priest when he grows up. He went to see his parish priest for an interview at his office, to see if he's ready. The priest asked a series of questions:
Priest: "Do you know who Joseph is?"
Boy: "Yes, that is the father of Jesus."
Priest: "Do you know who Mary is?"
Boy: "Yes, that is the mother of Jesus."
Priest: "Now, do you know who Jesus is?"
Boy: "No, Father. I don't know who Jesus is."
The priest took a crucifix from his wall, showed it to the boy, and asked him, "Do you know who this is?"
The boy replied, "Yes! Yes! I know who that is! That's Tarzan because he is wearing a g-string!"

A man was praying in a church to a large crucifix. He prayed, "Dear Lord, please help me to win he lottery tomorrow. If I win it, I'll give half of the money to you and donate it to charity."
The next day, he didn't win the lottery and he came into the church very angrily. He stormed thriugh the church door, only to see that the large crucifix was covered with scaffolding (under maintenance). So, the parish priest put a small crucifix on the altar. The man ran all over the church shouting, "Come out wherever you are!!! Stop hidihg from me!!!"
He found the small crucifix on the altar, so he ran up and yelled at it, "Hey!! Where's your dad?"

A man went to see his parish priest for confession.
The man said, "Father, I am very sorry that I stole a dozen pairs of shoes. Can you please forgive me?"
The priest replied, "You have been forgiven. For your penance, say one 'Our Father', one 'Hail Mary' and one 'Glory Be".
"Thanks, Father" the man said.
As he was about to walk out of the priest's office, the priest stopped him and said, "By the way, do you have size no. 6?"