Busload of Politicians

A busload of politicians were driving down a country road when, all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field. The old farmer, after seeing what had happened, went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole to bury the politicians. 
       
A few days later the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and asked the old farmer where all the politicians had gone. 
       
The old farmer said he had buried them. 
       
The sheriff asked the old farmer, "Were they all dead?" 
       
The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."

Twin Beds

An older couple was asking for a room with a king, queen or double bed. The clerk apologized and said that the only rooms available had twin beds.

Disappointed, the man remarked, "I don't know. We've been sharing the same bed for 44 years."

"Could you possibly put them close together?" the wife asked.

Several people nearby smiled, and someone commented, "How romantic."

Then the woman finished her request with, "Because if he snores, I want him close enough to be able to punch him."

Poker Dog

A guy walks into a bar and sees a dog playing poker. The guy is amazed that the dog is playing poker.

"Bartender, is that a real dog playing poker?" the guy asks.

"Yep, real as can be." the bartender replies.

"Well is he any good?" the guy asks.

"Na, every time he has a good hand he wags his tail."

Kansas Tornado

A Kansas tornado hit a farmhouse just before dawn one morning. It lifted the roof off, picked up the beds, on which the farmer and his wife slept, and set them down gently in the next county.

Suddenly the wife began to cry. "Don't be scared, Mary," her husband said. "We're not hurt."

Mary continued to cry. "I'm not scared," she responded between sobs. "I'm happy 'cause this is the first time in 14 years we've been out together."